Sunday, March 9, 2014

Treading the Mill

I'm afraid Brunhilda was back on Saturday morning of the recent Operation Christmas Child Connect Conference.  I don't know what happened in that morning training session but Brunhilda got suddenly overwhelmed in a discussion about leadership and had a meltdown.

We were discussing the concept that as a leader you should do "what only you can do."  This is hard for me.  I fully admit my leadership weaknesses.  The things I am gifted at don't really seem to have much to do with leadership.

One of the other area coordinators (someone I didn't know) said that he and his wife only pack two shoe boxes each year--one for a boy and one for a girl--because they are too busy leading their team to run around shopping for sale items to fill boxes.

Suddenly this wave of emotions kind of hit me and I felt like I spend my time doing all the wrong things.  I started feeling so emotional that I ended up leaving and just going to my room to crawl under the covers and cry for awhile. Silly and selfish and kind of juvenile.  But it passed and I returned to the discussion that had moved on to spiritual warfare--ahem.

At 6:00 am on Sunday morning (yeah--really 5:00 on the old time schedule) I hit the hotel treadmill.  I am not a good treadmill runner.  When I run outside I can vary my pace and don't feel the need to quit.

Running on the treadmill helped me see how slow I have gotten during my outdoor slogs through the snow.  So when I set the pace for a SLOW 9:50 minute mile and still was struggling I wanted to quit.

But I made myself just slow down the pace for awhile until I could catch my breath and then inched it back up again.  I had to do this two other times in order to finish my 30 minutes but I did finish.

I think maybe this applies to OCC leadership, too.  Sometimes when all I can think about is quitting maybe I just need to slow down and take a little break.

Something to consider while I'm treading the mill.

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