Dr. Henry Cloud--The Evil, The Foolish, The Wise
"That Guy" -- the problem person
Wherever you are, God has called you to be a steward over a vision for the specific reason of changing something in a community or a nation. Are you going to let "this guy" stop your vision?
What does a person do when the truth comes to them? That is the diagnostic question.
You make an assumption as a leader that you need to adjust whenever you receive feedback. But you cannot deal with every person you lead the same. You need to diagnose who you're talking to and deal with them appropriately so you won't lose your vision or your joy.
Three categories-- actually we all have all of these in our lives but some people make a career of one or the other
1) Wise--when the light comes to them the person adjusts themselves to match the light "Correct a wise person and he will be wiser still."
When you confront them, they thank you. David said, "A righteous man will strike me and it will be a blessing."
So talk to the wise--coach them--resource them
The challenge is to make sure they are a match for what you need.
Give them good feedback and coaching
Keep them appropriately challenged
2) Fools--when the light comes they adjust the light. They try to change the truth or shoot the messenger. They deny, minimize.
They are not happy to hear the feedback; may get angry.
Leads to hopelessness in the leader because the person being led won't own the problem.
"Do not correct a fool less you incur insults upon yourself."
Talk about the pattern only "I don't know how to give you feedback in a way that changes anything. I've got to protect our vision. I've got to protect the culture of this team."
Set limits--limit your exposure "Tell me how I can talk to you and make a difference."
What will we do if I correct you and you don't change? Get specific about consequences
Fools change only when the pain of not changing becomes greater than the pain of changing.
Give clear consequences
Give them a choice
3) Evil--destruction in their hearts; want to inflict pain "Reject a divisive person after a second warning"
God has called you to lead people and it's about getting the people to work the plan. Take the leadership challenge to not let someone's character problem stop the vision that God has called you to.