Struggles

Sometimes I'm such a wimp. Everything's been going so well in my Operation Christmas Child world lately. The team is growing together and working together and God is blessing at every turn.

But when I least expect it that's when the struggles come sometimes. A series of events led me to some conversations with leaders at the church I attend that brought some clarification to the church's philosophy of ministry. The bottom line is that they don't have the staff to support a myriad of ministries so the philosophy is that the church staff will help a volunteer to get a ministry started but then it's up to the volunteer to build a team to sustain that ministry. I haven't done that.

I haven't been able to figure out how to build the Northwestern PA Operation Christmas Child team to promote the project in three counties and also build a team at the church I attend to carry the project there. Another staff member is going to meet with me on Monday to give me some direction on how to build a team but I'm not sure what good that will do. I've had quite a lot of training through Operation Christmas Child about how to recruit, select, equip, and lead a team. Despite all that training I struggle so much with leading the area team. I can't figure out how I can possibly manage to lead another.

So I'm struggling.

And when I'm struggling Satan takes the opportunity to whisper his lies into my life, "No one cares. You're all alone."

So I'm shouting truth back. I'm holding on to Hebrews 13:5 that reminds me of God's promise that He will never forsake me. I sat this evening on the living room floor and played Michael Card's song based on Hebrews 13:5 over and over again, "Never will I leave you. That's something I'll never do."

I'm reminded of the devotion that my OCC regional director, Leigh Fisher, shared with us a month or so ago. It talked about the shield of faith and how the Roman soldier's shield was a huge door-sized shield that protected the soldier's entire body. I am picturing that shield tonight and I'm holding onto the promises of God.

Three months from tomorrow is the scheduled date for our Operation Christmas Child packing party at Grace Church. I look at this picture of cartons of boxes from last year's packing party and I know that three months from tomorrow there will be cartons stacked up in a truck again.

God has a plan for this. He knows leadership is not my forte and His strength is made perfect in my weakness. I admit to some feelings of dread as I read Randy Alcorn's view of heaven as a place where those who have been "faithful in little" on earth will be given more responsibility to serve in heaven. That doesn't sound like reward to me. But heaven, like earth, will not be about me but about Him. He has a plan for that, too.

Despite this week's struggles, three months from now I know He will have a plan for those cartons. Maybe it will be at a different church or a different town entirely--who knows? Maybe He will bring forth some people at the church I attend now who will own the leadership of the project and keep it going.

I don't know any of that.

So I return to what I do know--I am not alone. He will never leave me.