Easter ended over an hour ago and I still can't sleep. In the hour before I went to bed I was reading over my journal entries from last summer and thinking of all the wondering I was doing then about how God would provide for our Operation Christmas Child shoeboxes. The goal of 10,000 boxes seemed so far away a year ago, yet by the end of September, 2009 God had allowed us to pack 10,131 boxes and get them loaded on a truck for shipping.
This year I'm praying for 12,000 and knowing how God's provided in the past should make that easy to anticipate, right? But it's not. As always, every year seems different. By this time last year I'd already packed 1,256 boxes. This year I've packed none. Not one. Last year by this time I'd been picking up empty boxes at TJ Maxx and DSW Shoe Warehouse for weeks. This year I've picked up none. Not one. This concerns me because I'm not sure how God will provide 12,000 boxes for us. On the other hand I haven't had anywhere to store boxes.
Hopefully, a storage unit will arrive at Grace Church on Tuesday. So should I start collecting boxes now? I just don't know.
The one thing I do know is that God continues to provide items. I'm up to over 8,600 clothing items whereas last year at this time I had about 3,000. But once again the details that I'm in the dark about seem overwhelming.
As I read through last year's journal I saw the theme being repeated again. Nighttime wonderings and tossing and turning. Is this a lack of faith or a nudging to continued prayer and a ramped-up level of faith?
I think my faith muscles are being stretched and causing nighttime soul cramps that keep me from sleep. In eight months when I'm on the victory side it'll all seem so easy again.