At heart I'm really a Pharisee. I love rules and really try to follow them (except when I think they're not logical) and I believe everyone should follow them too--no matter what. By His grace, God has been revealing my Pharisaical heart to me lately and gently nudging me toward love--a painful process to be sure.
Last night was our first night working at the Baltimore Processing Center for Operation Christmas Child. We'll be here until Saturday and our job is to inspect the gifts that have been given and make sure each leaves the PC ready to bless a child. Now this may sound simple but, in fact, it can get pretty complex.
Operation Christmas Child is committed to the "integrity of the box". This means you only take out what is on the list of inappropriate items and you replace the items you take out and add items to the box if (and only if) the box is not full.
Sometimes that simple rule and logic collide.
Last night at 9:45 pm the associate employee leading my line handed me a LARGE box--about the size of TWO boot boxes--that had just been returned to the line from the 'shoebox hospital' where gifts that are damaged go to be repaired. The associate said I needed to inspect the box and send it on.
It had a "Follow Your Box" label on it and the top of the HUGE box (did I mention it was big) was wrapped. Inside were three items--a very large but obviously dirty stuffed animal, an oversized used art kit, and a dirty purple purse. When I removed the used items I was left with a BIG empty box.
Logic says that this box is too big and filling it will take up too many of the filler items meant for boxes that need just a little help. Why not take the "Follow Your Box" label off and put it on a regular size shoebox before filling it? I asked that question but was told that box needed to be filled to maintain its integrity.
I grumbled as I looked for larger items to fill that GIANT box that I knew was too big anyway. I did, however, have the presence of mind to pray--asking God to help me find items that would bless the child who would receive it. I got the box filled just before all the volunteers left the PC for the night.
Last night as I tried to fall asleep I couldn't quit thinking about that box and what nonsense it seemed to fill it. Finally, I fell asleep.
Because I have a gracious God who continues His good work in me even when I am a resistant Pharisee, my very first thought when I opened my eyes this morning was an amazing epiphany.
I kid you not--just as I awoke it was as if Jesus was speaking right to me. And He said,
"Kathy, that's what I do for you. You bring me your pathetic gifts. Oh, on the outside they are big and wrapped in beautifully decorative paper. But on the inside they are so often dirty, used, bedraggled, unworthy.
Yet, I accept them with love and I replace those unusable offerings with something that will bless people. Don't you see, Kathy, I'm doing it now.
I am taking your bad attitude, your Pharisaical, rule-following and unloving heart, and I am making something new there."
Thank You, Jesus. Will you use that box to bless a child and a family. Thank you for chastening me and for cleansing me and for giving me another chance to see Your love.
Give me another chance today to follow your one BIG rule--to love God and to love others.
